Friday, 13 June 2014
So there are certain things i have done in my childhood and while i was growing up..and honestly i haven't fully grown up and never will - YOU GET THE POINT! There are certain things i still do and people turn around and go - YOU'RE CRAZY..but i honestly believe that many people do the things i do but i guess silently? I am going to list them..if you're as mad as i am..let me know i am normal! Thanks!
1. Playing the Game " The man in the next advertisement is your father."
So you're sitting down watching tv with a group of friends and there are umpteen advertisements going on and you suddenly go, " Hey Mary, the man in the next advertisement is your father!" Everyone waits for the next advertisement and her father ends up to look like a chinese man with hair loss problems and everyone laughs!
2. You would have at least once in your life applied super glue on your index finger and tried to stick your thumb and index finger together? No? Just me? Shit.
3. You would have at least once in your lifetime switched off the light of the toilet while your sibling was having a shower just cos you want to take revenge!
4. You have made funny faces behind an old aunty to make your mother laugh while she was having a serious conversation with her.
5. You have seen someone slowly walking to the lift and instead of waiting for them you passionately press on to the "Close door" button so you can see the split second of "BITCH" look on their faces.
6. You also love it when people can't get into the MRT despite rushing towards the door just because the look on their faces is EPIC!
7. You have taken a friend's phone and msged/whatsapped people things like
1. I am a disco dancer.
2. I am jealous of you.
3. Your father is on TV and
4. I'll suck your tits dry
8. You have quietly squeezed a woman's ass on the dance floor just to watch her look around and suspect the first man who looks 'suspicious'.
9. You have dug your nose and stuck the booger on the wall as a "WALL OF FAME" and signed right under it.
10. You have at least once in your life - drew a line on your friend's neat notebook while they were writing something cos you HATE neatness.
So people, if you have done any of these..let me know that you're as mad as i am..if not share your mad stories on the comment section below! Thank you!
Love and Laughter,
Tuesday, 10 June 2014
10 Things All Mothers Should Tell Their Sons
1. You are not a prince. Get it? Ate your food? Go put your plate in the sink! Nobody here is your maid…yes i pick up your dishes sometimes but that's because i love you but don't take this love for granted. Your wife won't do this for you..you still have to do it yourself. The least you can do is pick up your freaking plate! Asshole!
2. You can't dance!? What kind of an idiot are you..women love men who can move..move it then! Stop waving your hand in the air and buying drinks for girls..that's not how she is going to get into your pants.
3. You wan't a virgin woman who hasn't dated many men as a wife. HAH! Reality check..just like you have been a playa all your life..you will also get a playa for yourself. Karma. It comes around. What do you think cinderella was doing all her life? She was banging couple of the male servants in the attic!
4. Your woman doesn't have to work? haahahahhahaha Remember! Don't marry a woman who can't support herself or stand on her two feet..she has to work as hard as you do and respect her for it.
5. Your wife can have as many male friends as she wants. Trust her. She will trust you too. Its mutual trust.
6. Do you know how to make tea? Learn how to make it - your girlfriend might love tea and you will have to make it most of the times.
7. Your woman is going through loads of bodily changes all her life. More than you ever are. So please be kind to that lady. It's not easy at all.
8. If she doesn't want to have kids - don't force her. Kids are not important for a marriage. The important thing is to be happy.
9. Don't stay with us after marriage. Move away with your wife. Get your own house.
10. If i ever fight with your wife because we both might have our own insecurities - don't get involved or you will get fucked for life. FUCKED for life..you geddit?
Wank off twice a day. Don't touch women as and when you like without their consent. That's rape.