Saturday, 21 September 2013

When I was 85kgs

I was once 85kgs.
I hated going out.
I had friends 10 times more good looking than me.
I would go to a shop and pick out clothes XXL and they felt tight on me.
Whenever people said they loved me and their world revolved around me..i thought they were calling me the world.
Guys would check me out but only the really ugly ones. Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder..some people are truly ugly.
When cute guys checked me out - I knew they were checking me out cos i was like the WALL CLOCK to them - and never wear a wall clock on your wrists. They would see me and their faces would be filled with disgust.
I fell in love with a guy for 7 years and thought this was it but he was such a fucking good looker...I didn't want to become his sister so i never told him. This is what good looking guys do..tell them you like them and they will either say - "Sorry." or "You're my sister.."
I was as big as a bulldozer...buffalos spoke among themselves when they saw me...they felt better about themselves. 
I felt like if you ever flipped the dictionary and searched for "FAT" face would be there.
People could run marathons around me.
When i ran for the bus - i injured people around me.
When i didn't hold the handle on the bus and the bus jerked...i fell on a man a skinny man who almost died.
I felt like eating all of my friends' leftovers
Mc Donald's was my best friend..
I slept around with KFC...
Pizza Hut was my whore...
I once sat on a pony in australia and the pony stopped halfway during the ride and took a dump..
I started losing weight..
I lost 25kgs...
Clothes started fitting me..
I gained confidence...
Men started hitting on me..
I started smiling more often...
But i was very hungry...
Still very hungry....
I am a comfortable weight right now..

But inside..deep inside..I am still that FAT GIRL.

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