Ways to deal with your boss

Is your boss a pain in the ass? Do you not like seeing his/her face and always wish it was friday so that you could get out of there? Well then - this post is for you. I hear from loads of people complaining about monday blues and most of them then go shopping on thursday to buy a nice outfit to make sure they are enjoying their weekend! How should you deal with the boss? I have never had a boss as such - only when i was in a telemarketing job...but my boss was a sweetheart cos he was never in the office. :)
Below are some ways you can deal them them.




1. Print out a picture of your boss and put it in a folder at home. If he/she has made you angry..come home and spit on the picture..stamp on it..and tell it off. You'll feel great!



2. If your boss is a female - be sure to compliment her at least once a day...a compliment a day will keep the bitch away. If he is a guy and above 50..please make sure you dress well..and pay attention to whatever he says...if you dont know how to 'act' to pay attention... imagine you are multiplying 50000 into 4.657 and then make that thinking face..ALWAYS works!  If he is below 50...women dress sexy and men...dress exactly like him cos then he will find some similarity with you and give you a fuckin raise!


3.  If your boss expects you to stay longer than the agreed 9am to 5pm and always makes sure he calls you in for a meeting at 4.50pm...tell the boss that you suffering from diarrhea which gets activated after 5pm and your medicine is a herbal one that is being brewed right now by your mom who really actually cares for you. If your colleague is about to take this advice..the following are the problems you can fake to get out of office at 5pm..

1. Diarrhea
2. Women : 365 days special period cramps
3. Night blindness after 5pm
4. Back problems..can't sit down for long
5. You have to take care of your aged dogs
6. Vomits when work exceeds a certain limit
7. Psychological problems like need sex at 5.30pm
8. Sore eyes : pour shampoo in eyes
9. Trip over the chair and you have dislocated your ankle . MC for 2 days = phuket holiday.

Be creative. Create your own.


4. If your boss is finding ways to pin point your work.. be extra extra nice and cry if you have to.

Boss : Sam i think you have missed out some details...

Sam : I have bought cupcakes for you sir.

OR


Boss : Sam  i think you have missed out some details...

Sam : *cries* I am sooooooooooooooooooooo sooooooooooo sorrry. ( runs out of office)



5. If your boss doesn't accept leave..tell him/her your sister is getting married ( print card from peace centre, very cheap..ask me for contact)  and you can also tell him that your mom is hindu muslim and your dad is chinese european so that way you have to celebrate all festivals and in the hindu calender itself there are festivals 365 days so leave is confirmed.



Thanks guys! Have a great thursday preparing for a great friday and then a great saturday and a sulky sunday preparing to see the boss on monday!


love love,

Sharul