Saturday, 13 July 2013

Performing in Different Rooms - What is the difference?


Dear all,

This post is strictly comedians kind of material i think but its good for all to know this kind of information even if you're audience :)

I've often heard stand-up comedians say :

" Ughh...its the room..i don't know what went wrong."

You could be killing it in a certain room and then completely die in another. Does it make you a fantastic stand-up comedian one night and then a bad one on another. Well here is my take on it.

I mostly perform at Home club for Comedy Masala on tuesdays and then go back to perform at Home club for Kumar's Night on Thursdays. I could kill at Comedy Masala on a good day and then do decent at Kumar's Night. It's the same room! What is the difference then?

Thanks to the opportunities i have gotten to perform at different nights, i realize that most importantly the difference between a good stand-up comedian who consistently kills in different venues and one who is probably on a 50-50 chance is : Experience.

I know it sounds DUH - we know that! But why does it make a difference? The more stage time and experience you get in different kinds of rooms..you build the following skills which are important for a stand-up comedian to really know..

1. The ability to find out within 2 jokes what kind of audiences you have in the room - some audiences don't like sex jokes..some don't like to hear "random stories of a table that made a difference to your life". What are they responding to? Do they like audience interaction more? You have to build a rapport with them before you start a set..that's what i have realized. Talk to them!


2. The ability to practice the art of "spontaneity". Yes..you have done the jokes a million times..but how do you make them sound like you're doing it for the first time? I am guilty at this..i have before rushed my jokes cos I know them..the trick here is I might know them but THEY don't.

3. AUDIENCE INTERACTION
    Not all stand-up comedians are good at this art and i must say this is a difficult art to practice but it is nevertheless important to practice it. I have found gold material by blabbering on stage that i would have never otherwise found when i was cracking my head in my room. I have spoken to some professional stage up comedians who have given me the following advice or shared their experience
with me :

1 said : " I bring 50 percent of my joke on stage sometimes and find the other 50 percent while performing"

Another one said :  " If you are insulting the audience member for whatever reason during your act - be sure to balance the joke by complimenting them after." Keep it positive.


4. The more you do it the better you get. Don't ever say "NO' to stage time if its an open-mic.

I think its also important for the audience to know the difference between comedic actors and stand-up comedians. It's not the same. The lines have been blurred but don't be fooled. A stand-up comedian writes his or her own material and grows from experience and even if the professional ones have writers writing for them..they still have to alter the writing  to suit their style. Comedic actors are actors playing a role that is meant to be funny. They have a script and umpteen rehearsals and are not sharing their own lives with the audience. Stand-up comedians are baring their 'truth' or 'soul' to the audiences. They face the audiences and speak to them hence breaking the "fourth wall".

I am only 2 years into the stand-up comedy business and god bless its going well. These are just some of my own experiences i am sharing with you. Your experience could be different. Feel free to comment and share your experiences. :)


Have a great weekend!

Love,

Sharul Channa

Thursday, 4 July 2013

10 Things About Me You Don't Need To Know


10 Things about me - you don't need to know. So if you think you don't want to know..please get off this blog and go do something more productive with your life.


1. I still buy cheap cotton panties from Toa Payoh - 3 for $1 and i dont like the hipster panties that girls say they like to wear..i love aunty panties cos they cover my love handles..so if you're a pervert..this is when you start wanking off over the thought of my sexy aunty panty.


2. I love wearing shorts at home that have at least one hole in them. I can't sleep if not. I think i am a beggar at heart.


3. I love going to the gurudwara ( sikh temple) especially because they have a red carpet there and i feel like a star when i walk there and my dream is to be checked out by the hottest guy..but there never is. Sucks. 


4. I am the kid who would press all the buttons on the lift before you got on. I still do it.


5. I dance harder and better at clubs when hot men are around so if i am not bringing the groove on when you're around.. you know why. 

6. I hate white light cos i hate people shifting their gaze from my eyes to my face..with some facial hair left once in a while.. it happens.. i am punjabi.


7. If you're talking about a topic which is not interesting..i smile a lot to compensate for my lack of understanding. I will also laugh when you laugh so that i make you feel better and my excuse for leaving a conversation is always..." I better go...i needed to talk to somebody"...that is short for "shut the fuck up you boring fuck"...


8.  I failed math during my "O" levels. I sucked at it. Judge me. NO NO Judge me...i think math has never helped my life one bit other than when i ask my bf.. " no tell me HOW MUCH...exactly HOW MUCH..do you love me..tell me..come one..."


9. I can't drive and I can't swim. Anyway if there is a tsunami situation..the cars get swept away too..so i think these two are a good combination.


10. My nose is really huge. Sometimes when i am washing my face..my fingers slip into my nose. It's tragic. It is.


So - these are 10 things about me you don't need to do. You got through it - Congratulations.


Have a great friday!


love love,
Sharul

Wednesday, 3 July 2013

Ways to deal with your boss


Is your boss a pain in the ass? Do you not like seeing his/her face and always wish it was friday so that you could get out of there? Well then - this post is for you. I hear from loads of people complaining about monday blues and most of them then go shopping on thursday to buy a nice outfit to make sure they are enjoying their weekend! How should you deal with the boss? I have never had a boss as such - only when i was in a telemarketing job...but my boss was a sweetheart cos he was never in the office. :)
Below are some ways you can deal them them.




1. Print out a picture of your boss and put it in a folder at home. If he/she has made you angry..come home and spit on the picture..stamp on it..and tell it off. You'll feel great!



2. If your boss is a female - be sure to compliment her at least once a day...a compliment a day will keep the bitch away. If he is a guy and above 50..please make sure you dress well..and pay attention to whatever he says...if you dont know how to 'act' to pay attention... imagine you are multiplying 50000 into 4.657 and then make that thinking face..ALWAYS works!  If he is below 50...women dress sexy and men...dress exactly like him cos then he will find some similarity with you and give you a fuckin raise!


3.  If your boss expects you to stay longer than the agreed 9am to 5pm and always makes sure he calls you in for a meeting at 4.50pm...tell the boss that you suffering from diarrhea which gets activated after 5pm and your medicine is a herbal one that is being brewed right now by your mom who really actually cares for you. If your colleague is about to take this advice..the following are the problems you can fake to get out of office at 5pm..

1. Diarrhea
2. Women : 365 days special period cramps
3. Night blindness after 5pm
4. Back problems..can't sit down for long
5. You have to take care of your aged dogs
6. Vomits when work exceeds a certain limit
7. Psychological problems like need sex at 5.30pm
8. Sore eyes : pour shampoo in eyes
9. Trip over the chair and you have dislocated your ankle . MC for 2 days = phuket holiday.

Be creative. Create your own.


4. If your boss is finding ways to pin point your work.. be extra extra nice and cry if you have to.

Boss : Sam i think you have missed out some details...

Sam : I have bought cupcakes for you sir.

OR


Boss : Sam  i think you have missed out some details...

Sam : *cries* I am sooooooooooooooooooooo sooooooooooo sorrry. ( runs out of office)



5. If your boss doesn't accept leave..tell him/her your sister is getting married ( print card from peace centre, very cheap..ask me for contact)  and you can also tell him that your mom is hindu muslim and your dad is chinese european so that way you have to celebrate all festivals and in the hindu calender itself there are festivals 365 days so leave is confirmed.



Thanks guys! Have a great thursday preparing for a great friday and then a great saturday and a sulky sunday preparing to see the boss on monday!


love love,

Sharul


Tuesday, 2 July 2013

TOP 10 MYTHS THAT YOUR MAN IS CHEATING ON YOU

Hey People!

Yes. The post this morning is about the 10 myths/bullshit signs that your bf/partner/husband is cheating on you. Don't listen to your stupid girlfriends who confirm these signs for you cos these signs are NOT necessarily true. 


MYTH 1 : He constantly checks his phone and when i come into the room he quickly puts his phone down so that i dont check his phone and find out about 'the other one '. 

Listen lady - the reason he could be putting his phone down quickly is cos he doesn't want to upset you that he brings his work back home. Men are super stupid that way..they dont actually know how to hide things so when they do it..they look like a spy of a ridiculous 80s movie. Sharp turns, sudden jerks and stammering voice. 


MYTH 2 : He always takes a very long time in the bathroom and he brings his phone and a book in. I secretly feel that he messaging a woman or doing video chat with her on face time.


No babe. He is watching porn in the toilet. 


MYTH 3 : He doesn't buy me any gifts but when i check his laptop ...the recently viewed pages are always some online gift shop or some diamond jewelry...ugh!!!!

eh bitch- Can you wait...he is going to surprise you soon and might even propose. Do you not have any patience?!?!?


MYTH 4 : When i check my whatsapp.. just say i messaged him at 4.01pm... and he was last seen at 4.02pm... he still never replies to my chat! What the hell!!!

We are already natural spies. This is not your fault..whatsapp should get their act straight and get that bullshit off. In any case, you better ask him why he never replies on time cos -  I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM.


MYTH 5 : He checks out other women infront of me and then lies when i catch him..he is probably doing that and more when i am not with him.. :(

All men check out other women. Married, non-married, single, paralyzed : ALL. So if you think by getting married or attached to you that's going to change.. KILL YOURSELF.
Even women check out other women..that's mostly to see what she is wearing. Come on, dont tell me you dont like to check out eye-candy and just fixate your eyes on your partner..bullshit girl!


MYTH 6 : We don't have sex anymore. Is he getting it from somewhere else?

No. He is having problems standing. Check or talk to him about it. I can't help here. Talk to the doctor..i've been trying to get my dick to stand for the longest time..only recently i found out..i dont have a dick.


MYTH 7 : I have seen receipts of him having dinners at fancy restaurants. If it's not with me..who is he going with?

Ask him. ASK HIM YOU FOOL - DON'T ASK YOUR MOM! Your mom is already worried about your dad coming back late from work drunk. Your mom is not experienced at this..but she is experienced at thinking the same way as you so her suspicion will be hi-tech and faarrrrrrrrrrrrrr better than yours!


MYTH 8 : He is surrounded by so many hot women...one day after office..do you think he would bang one of them.

Babe. Go get yourself a nice dress.  Get a manicure done. Get a massage done. Treat yourself - you're insecure like most of us are. You relationships are a mirror of how much you love yourself. The more insecure..the more fights.


MYTH 9 :  Why doesn't he call me during lunchtime when he clearly has a break.

SLAP YOURSELF ! Give him some time to breathe from his busy work..let him network with his mates...he is coming home to YOU right..and why don't you pick up the phone and call him instead.. EGO issues right. <-------------- Dear husband, leave her. 


MYTH 10 : I saw him kissing another girl on the cheek. First on one side..then the other.

This is the european or american way of greeting somebody. If he stopped halfway in the middle of the right and the left cheek - then when you meet him...you make sure you burn his butt cheeks.  


Ok people! You get the point but if the guy is really cheating on you..don't be so stupid! Keep your eyes and ears open..cos i am not sure if ALL men can be trusted..but all women can't be trusted either but that's for another blogpost. Have a great Wednesday and if you would like me to cover any topics or have any ideas you would like to share with me.. you can write to me on : thesharulc@gmail.com


Love Love,

Sharul 










Monday, 1 July 2013

I am not Pregnant.

Hey guys,

People are way too critical of women. We can't be fat. We can't be too skinny. We can't be pudgy. It's as if people have a problem with everything! So i think it is important to be comfortable in your own skin and dress your weight instead of waiting to dress up after you lose weight. I must tell you about the kind of scrutinizing comments i have heard from random people and relatives about other people. It's just NOT COOL. Simple things like when we travel to India to go meet our relatives, friends, random relatives (who your mom conveniently makes you meet after 15 years and expects you to remember that the uncle carried you and you pee-d in your pants - "sudden relatives") - the kind of comments you get to hear are just phenomenally displeasing.

Things Relatives/friends/people/ Weirdos Say :


IF YOU HAVE PUT ON WEIGHT

1. " Oh, you have become healthy.."
2. " Radha (maid), can you get sharul another roti - she has an appetite!"
3. " When I was your age, i was super skinny."
4. " Shall i get you an L size, we were planning to buy you a top as a gift before you leave."


IF YOU HAVE LOST WEIGHT
1. " Oh, you look weak..bring out the pure ghee.."
2. " How will you give birth in the future like this?"
3. " Stop eating all that chinese food - you're not going to wear that tight dress for your wedding.. saris' need curves"
4. " let's bring you under a cow/buffalo to break that skinny spell.."
5. " Hold on to your daughter, the wind is blowing too strong.."


IF YOU HAVE BAD SKIN
1. ........ why don't you see a doctor..
2. Are you touching your face all the time?
3.  Younger daughter so pretty... older daughter very smart. Middle daughter....
4. I can play connect the dots on your face!


Recently, I got congratulated for being pregnant. Just for the record, i am not. My mind ,however, is pregnant with thoughts of getting impregnated by the most handsomest guy ever.


Love Love,

Sharul

Shit Comedians do in hotel rooms when they are bored!

video



Hello people! Hope you'll are enjoying your monday! I am :)
Recently, Fuzz and myself were super bored in penang just before our show so we happened to shoot a video and i just found it completely amusing. Yes. Fakkah Fuzz was amusing the hell outta me.

Comics who are hilariously funny and single get to hook up with hot chicks ( Read: Fuzz) while the attached ones ( Read : Jinx and Me ) have to look like we're not interested at all. It is truly difficult to look not interested especially if the guy is hot. So the following is a sample of awkward conversations i have had with men after a show.

Sample 1 :

Hot guy : I would love to know how you're like in normal life.

Me : I am pretty normal in normal life.

FAIL FAIL FAIL!!!!!


Sample 2 :

Hot guy : Can I get you a drink?

Me : I don't drink.

Hot guy : How about a non-alcoholic drink?

Me : Oh look, my partner is here. Bye.

FAIL FAIL FAIL!!!!


Sample 3 :

Hot Guy : Omg. Your comedy has improved. So was your joke about getting legally married true?

Me : Yes.

Hot Guy : hmmm...when are you religiously getting married?


Me : Tomorrow.


FAIL FAIL FAIL.


Sample 4 :

Hot Guy puts hand around waist and kisses cheek to say HI.


Me : Oh look my HUSBAND is here. Talk later BRO.

FAIL FAIL FAIL.




Question : Where do all the hot single men disappear to when you are not married/getting married / attached?

It's as if there is a room filled with hot men who are only unleashed when single women find men. These 'perfect' looking men are released to test your relationship. UGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!




That's it for now.


Love love,

Sharul