Sunday, 22 September 2013

Things Your Mum Will Never Talk To You About

There are certain things mums just refuse to tell us. I think they should! It's important.



1.  Which one is the Right Hole.

I think mom's should sit their daughters down and explain to them about their female anatomy. It is so important. I know for a fact that most moms i know just brush aside the whole issue or shall i say the "Hole" issue. I just want to know how many holes there are and which one goes where. I mean you know what i mean. I am not talking about the embarrassing conversation mom's have with us when we get our periods.  I really mean it. Let your girls and boys know about it.




2.  YOUR PARTNER CAN NEVER BE LIKE YOUR FATHER

I wish moms told us this. How can you expect your partner to love you like your father does. Your father is different as a father and different as a partner. Don't expect your husband or bf to be as caring and sensitive as your father cos i bet that your father is an asshole to your mom at times but YOUR MOM WON'T TELL YOU!  




3. How to be Manipulative and read into double meanings

You mom def needs to teach you how to be manipulative. Yup True. Women need to be manipulative to survive. You need to be manipulative with your Bf/ Husband/ Mother-in-law/ Extended Family and many more people. I think mothers should give us a crash course on this. This shocks the hell out of us when we get into a new relationship or have to deal with difficult people. Don't take things at face value. 

Example :

Mother-in-law : " Is everything ok with my son..?"

Meaning : " Did you upset him..?"

( depends on case to case basis)








4.  Every woman needs to stay alone to become Independent and Understand her self-worth

I think mom's need to throw us out of the house to fend for ourselves. If not we just simply get sold like sheep. At least the asian women do. The one phrase common in an Indian household is " Don't do it here..do it when you go to husband's house"... There is nothing such as " Do it at your husband's house.." - This simply means...you will never get to do it. You need to stay alone to discover your own individuality and understand you self-worth. True. You need to stay alone and learn how to live on your own and live your life on your own terms. Trust me its not the same staying at your parent's place. 
Next time your mom says - " Do it at your husband's place..."...Look into your mom's eyes and let her know...that she is doing a lot of things to keep her husband happy..but is she happy herself? Learning is both ways!







5. How to make a good cup of coffee or Tea.

I think mom's should def teach their daughters how to make a good cup of coffee or tea...at least for one person. You know why. Women are different from the entire human race. We are super strong but we all need a fuckin' cup of coffee/Tea in the morning to keep us going. Sometimes more than one but we need it...so please teach us how to make one for that extra kick! ;) Also - HAVE YOUR FIRST DRINK WITH YOUR MOM! Mom - please get drunk together...we have lots to bond over! ;)
















Saturday, 21 September 2013

When I was 85kgs


I was once 85kgs.
I hated going out.
I had friends 10 times more good looking than me.
I would go to a shop and pick out clothes XXL and they felt tight on me.
Whenever people said they loved me and their world revolved around me..i thought they were calling me the world.
Guys would check me out but only the really ugly ones. Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder..some people are truly ugly.
When cute guys checked me out - I knew they were checking me out cos i was like the WALL CLOCK to them - and remember..you never wear a wall clock on your wrists. They would see me and their faces would be filled with disgust.
I fell in love with a guy for 7 years and thought this was it but he was such a fucking good looker...I didn't want to become his sister so i never told him. This is what good looking guys do..tell them you like them and they will either say - "Sorry." or "You're my sister.."
I was as big as a bulldozer...buffalos spoke among themselves when they saw me...they felt better about themselves. 
I felt like if you ever flipped the dictionary and searched for "FAT"...my face would be there.
People could run marathons around me.
When i ran for the bus - i injured people around me.
When i didn't hold the handle on the bus and the bus jerked...i fell on a man a skinny man who almost died.
I felt like eating all of my friends' leftovers
Mc Donald's was my best friend..
I slept around with KFC...
Pizza Hut was my whore...
I once sat on a pony in australia and the pony stopped halfway during the ride and took a dump..
I started losing weight..
I lost 25kgs...
Clothes started fitting me..
I gained confidence...
Men started hitting on me..
I started smiling more often...
But i was very hungry...
Still very hungry....
I am a comfortable weight right now..

But inside..deep inside..I am still that FAT GIRL.


Wednesday, 4 September 2013

10 RIDICULOUS QUESTIONS/ THINGS PEOPLE SAY ABOUT SINGAPORE



1.  " OMG. WILL I GET JAILED IF I SPIT ON THE FLOOR RIGHT NOW."


ANSWER : " No, you will just look like an idiot for doing it for no apparent reason. Stupid.


2.  " OMG. I HAVE CHEWING GUM WITH ME RIGHT NOW. WILL THEY ARREST ME ? "


ANSWER : " No, Can you pass me one..."


3. " OMG. I HEARD GEYLANG IS THE RED LIGHT AREA...HAVE YOU BEEN THERE?

Answer : " Yes..my aunty stays there. No..she is not a whore. Geylang has residential area too.. its just a business like every other business..get over it lady and why don't you go choose the guy you are going to sleep with after you get drunk..and of cos..you won't charge.


4. "OMG..OMG...I want to go to that Swimming pool at Marina Bay Sands..THAT SWIMMING POOL ..gosh..is it really that high.."


Answer : " Yes..Enter the pool..take that picture everybody is taking..the one with the Singapore Sky-line in the background and then get off a minute later cos its just a pool. A NORMAL POOL.


5. : "OMG...I GOT INTO ATTICA..i heard there are really hot guys there.."

Answer : Yes. Its awesome. I love getting groped and rubbed while dancing so i go there too. Perfect.


6. " OMG OMG...I want to watch the F1 race!!!! Have you watched the F1 race?


Answer : No. I am Singaporean. While you are spending loads of money watching the F1 race..we carry on with life cos we are going to work..getting stuck in traffic jams and then going for our casual drinks. Enjoy.


7. "OMG..i want to so live in Singapore!!! I want to live the asian life..the amazing asian lifestyle..like try asian food wow..i am getting an apartment in Orchard!!!...

Answer : Bitch. Get a HDB in Geylang and live the amazing Singaporean lifestyle.


8. " OMG...I AM GOING TO CYCLE TO ORCHARD and then CYCLE BACK HOME...wow..only 40 mins...!"

Answer : Ya correct. Why don't you attach a 2 seater behind and ride a rickshaw instead..then you can earn some money too. Bitch, the MRT and BUS system is super efficient here. Cut the crap.


9. " OMG. I love going to sentosa every weekend for a tan..!"

Answer : " Sentosa is our disneyland..you don't go to disneyland everyday..".. Bitch please. Go to the botanical gardens and take pictures of flowers instead and don't forget to bring your bicycle. 


10. " OMG.....Homosexuals cannot kiss in this country..they cannot kiss?? They cannot..?"


Answer : "Get out of your house... and go to tanjong pagar and if that's not enough i have amazing gay friends who are giving you the WTF look as u say it.."

Wednesday, 28 August 2013

Indian Women being Stand-up Comedians : Difficult?

Someone recently asked me.. So Sharul, being an indian female..has it been difficult being a stand-up comedian. I looked at her and smiled. " I don't know babe..maybe not as difficult for those in India..i replied." I wouldn't know.

Indian women are profiled to be conservative and coy so when they see an indian female taking centre-stage and talking about things they don't expect her to talk about..they get shocked.
Some people say " Oh, she is getting laughs because of the shock value !" and some people say " Should she talk about that topic..what does she know about it?"...

I really wish sometimes they could just call the female comics just plain - Stand-up comedians. Many times if you watch shows..the emcee would make it a point to say.." The next comedian my friend is a woman...*Cheers*..yes..please put your hands together for Sharul Channa.." and then i go on and talk about having a big nose. Are they wrong at doing that? No. Not at all because there aren't many women in this business compared to the men.

What i cannot stand is those male chauvinist pigs who decide they need to come counsel you after the show..although that stopped happening to me 2 months after i started doing comedy. There are such pigs in the business itself too..like some fellow male comedians think they have to act smart and say shit like .." oh you woman you..why don't you just show your tits on stage and they will laugh..!" To which i usually reply.." Why don't you show yours since your mama fed you like a fucking pig when you were young.." It happens but that's a one off experience again. We have such amazing fellow comedians in the Singapore circuit..its been fantastic.

So the question remains..Is it difficult being an indian woman female comedian. Well- its rare..But we're tough. We have prob gone past the " Oh..if i contort my face this way..men will not find me attractive anymore or my eye-liner has not been drawn well phase and hence i won't get married blah blah blah.."

Female comedians are comedians too. Fullstop. Spelt out.
So - as long as we don't marginalize ourselves nobody can. Yup..we don't bother what others think about the laughs we get. As long as you can stand on stage and make a group laugh - you're funny. There is no gimmick there. We 're not going to get more laughs cos we are women so its not easy..in fact it can work against us..so we have to work harder..but again..we're just Stand-up comedians.

The only way being an INDIAN female stand-up comedian is going to benefit me is if you get me..some amazing chicken tikka after the show or a little bit of Salman khan on a kebab platter. That's about it. Get over it.

love love,

Sharul

Saturday, 13 July 2013

Performing in Different Rooms - What is the difference?


Dear all,

This post is strictly comedians kind of material i think but its good for all to know this kind of information even if you're audience :)

I've often heard stand-up comedians say :

" Ughh...its the room..i don't know what went wrong."

You could be killing it in a certain room and then completely die in another. Does it make you a fantastic stand-up comedian one night and then a bad one on another. Well here is my take on it.

I mostly perform at Home club for Comedy Masala on tuesdays and then go back to perform at Home club for Kumar's Night on Thursdays. I could kill at Comedy Masala on a good day and then do decent at Kumar's Night. It's the same room! What is the difference then?

Thanks to the opportunities i have gotten to perform at different nights, i realize that most importantly the difference between a good stand-up comedian who consistently kills in different venues and one who is probably on a 50-50 chance is : Experience.

I know it sounds DUH - we know that! But why does it make a difference? The more stage time and experience you get in different kinds of rooms..you build the following skills which are important for a stand-up comedian to really know..

1. The ability to find out within 2 jokes what kind of audiences you have in the room - some audiences don't like sex jokes..some don't like to hear "random stories of a table that made a difference to your life". What are they responding to? Do they like audience interaction more? You have to build a rapport with them before you start a set..that's what i have realized. Talk to them!


2. The ability to practice the art of "spontaneity". Yes..you have done the jokes a million times..but how do you make them sound like you're doing it for the first time? I am guilty at this..i have before rushed my jokes cos I know them..the trick here is I might know them but THEY don't.

3. AUDIENCE INTERACTION
    Not all stand-up comedians are good at this art and i must say this is a difficult art to practice but it is nevertheless important to practice it. I have found gold material by blabbering on stage that i would have never otherwise found when i was cracking my head in my room. I have spoken to some professional stage up comedians who have given me the following advice or shared their experience
with me :

1 said : " I bring 50 percent of my joke on stage sometimes and find the other 50 percent while performing"

Another one said :  " If you are insulting the audience member for whatever reason during your act - be sure to balance the joke by complimenting them after." Keep it positive.


4. The more you do it the better you get. Don't ever say "NO' to stage time if its an open-mic.

I think its also important for the audience to know the difference between comedic actors and stand-up comedians. It's not the same. The lines have been blurred but don't be fooled. A stand-up comedian writes his or her own material and grows from experience and even if the professional ones have writers writing for them..they still have to alter the writing  to suit their style. Comedic actors are actors playing a role that is meant to be funny. They have a script and umpteen rehearsals and are not sharing their own lives with the audience. Stand-up comedians are baring their 'truth' or 'soul' to the audiences. They face the audiences and speak to them hence breaking the "fourth wall".

I am only 2 years into the stand-up comedy business and god bless its going well. These are just some of my own experiences i am sharing with you. Your experience could be different. Feel free to comment and share your experiences. :)


Have a great weekend!

Love,

Sharul Channa

Thursday, 4 July 2013

10 Things About Me You Don't Need To Know


10 Things about me - you don't need to know. So if you think you don't want to know..please get off this blog and go do something more productive with your life.


1. I still buy cheap cotton panties from Toa Payoh - 3 for $1 and i dont like the hipster panties that girls say they like to wear..i love aunty panties cos they cover my love handles..so if you're a pervert..this is when you start wanking off over the thought of my sexy aunty panty.


2. I love wearing shorts at home that have at least one hole in them. I can't sleep if not. I think i am a beggar at heart.


3. I love going to the gurudwara ( sikh temple) especially because they have a red carpet there and i feel like a star when i walk there and my dream is to be checked out by the hottest guy..but there never is. Sucks. 


4. I am the kid who would press all the buttons on the lift before you got on. I still do it.


5. I dance harder and better at clubs when hot men are around so if i am not bringing the groove on when you're around.. you know why. 

6. I hate white light cos i hate people shifting their gaze from my eyes to my face..with some facial hair left once in a while.. it happens.. i am punjabi.


7. If you're talking about a topic which is not interesting..i smile a lot to compensate for my lack of understanding. I will also laugh when you laugh so that i make you feel better and my excuse for leaving a conversation is always..." I better go...i needed to talk to somebody"...that is short for "shut the fuck up you boring fuck"...


8.  I failed math during my "O" levels. I sucked at it. Judge me. NO NO Judge me...i think math has never helped my life one bit other than when i ask my bf.. " no tell me HOW MUCH...exactly HOW MUCH..do you love me..tell me..come one..."


9. I can't drive and I can't swim. Anyway if there is a tsunami situation..the cars get swept away too..so i think these two are a good combination.


10. My nose is really huge. Sometimes when i am washing my face..my fingers slip into my nose. It's tragic. It is.


So - these are 10 things about me you don't need to do. You got through it - Congratulations.


Have a great friday!


love love,
Sharul

Wednesday, 3 July 2013

Ways to deal with your boss


Is your boss a pain in the ass? Do you not like seeing his/her face and always wish it was friday so that you could get out of there? Well then - this post is for you. I hear from loads of people complaining about monday blues and most of them then go shopping on thursday to buy a nice outfit to make sure they are enjoying their weekend! How should you deal with the boss? I have never had a boss as such - only when i was in a telemarketing job...but my boss was a sweetheart cos he was never in the office. :)
Below are some ways you can deal them them.




1. Print out a picture of your boss and put it in a folder at home. If he/she has made you angry..come home and spit on the picture..stamp on it..and tell it off. You'll feel great!



2. If your boss is a female - be sure to compliment her at least once a day...a compliment a day will keep the bitch away. If he is a guy and above 50..please make sure you dress well..and pay attention to whatever he says...if you dont know how to 'act' to pay attention... imagine you are multiplying 50000 into 4.657 and then make that thinking face..ALWAYS works!  If he is below 50...women dress sexy and men...dress exactly like him cos then he will find some similarity with you and give you a fuckin raise!


3.  If your boss expects you to stay longer than the agreed 9am to 5pm and always makes sure he calls you in for a meeting at 4.50pm...tell the boss that you suffering from diarrhea which gets activated after 5pm and your medicine is a herbal one that is being brewed right now by your mom who really actually cares for you. If your colleague is about to take this advice..the following are the problems you can fake to get out of office at 5pm..

1. Diarrhea
2. Women : 365 days special period cramps
3. Night blindness after 5pm
4. Back problems..can't sit down for long
5. You have to take care of your aged dogs
6. Vomits when work exceeds a certain limit
7. Psychological problems like need sex at 5.30pm
8. Sore eyes : pour shampoo in eyes
9. Trip over the chair and you have dislocated your ankle . MC for 2 days = phuket holiday.

Be creative. Create your own.


4. If your boss is finding ways to pin point your work.. be extra extra nice and cry if you have to.

Boss : Sam i think you have missed out some details...

Sam : I have bought cupcakes for you sir.

OR


Boss : Sam  i think you have missed out some details...

Sam : *cries* I am sooooooooooooooooooooo sooooooooooo sorrry. ( runs out of office)



5. If your boss doesn't accept leave..tell him/her your sister is getting married ( print card from peace centre, very cheap..ask me for contact)  and you can also tell him that your mom is hindu muslim and your dad is chinese european so that way you have to celebrate all festivals and in the hindu calender itself there are festivals 365 days so leave is confirmed.



Thanks guys! Have a great thursday preparing for a great friday and then a great saturday and a sulky sunday preparing to see the boss on monday!


love love,

Sharul


Tuesday, 2 July 2013

TOP 10 MYTHS THAT YOUR MAN IS CHEATING ON YOU

Hey People!

Yes. The post this morning is about the 10 myths/bullshit signs that your bf/partner/husband is cheating on you. Don't listen to your stupid girlfriends who confirm these signs for you cos these signs are NOT necessarily true. 


MYTH 1 : He constantly checks his phone and when i come into the room he quickly puts his phone down so that i dont check his phone and find out about 'the other one '. 

Listen lady - the reason he could be putting his phone down quickly is cos he doesn't want to upset you that he brings his work back home. Men are super stupid that way..they dont actually know how to hide things so when they do it..they look like a spy of a ridiculous 80s movie. Sharp turns, sudden jerks and stammering voice. 


MYTH 2 : He always takes a very long time in the bathroom and he brings his phone and a book in. I secretly feel that he messaging a woman or doing video chat with her on face time.


No babe. He is watching porn in the toilet. 


MYTH 3 : He doesn't buy me any gifts but when i check his laptop ...the recently viewed pages are always some online gift shop or some diamond jewelry...ugh!!!!

eh bitch- Can you wait...he is going to surprise you soon and might even propose. Do you not have any patience?!?!?


MYTH 4 : When i check my whatsapp.. just say i messaged him at 4.01pm... and he was last seen at 4.02pm... he still never replies to my chat! What the hell!!!

We are already natural spies. This is not your fault..whatsapp should get their act straight and get that bullshit off. In any case, you better ask him why he never replies on time cos -  I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM.


MYTH 5 : He checks out other women infront of me and then lies when i catch him..he is probably doing that and more when i am not with him.. :(

All men check out other women. Married, non-married, single, paralyzed : ALL. So if you think by getting married or attached to you that's going to change.. KILL YOURSELF.
Even women check out other women..that's mostly to see what she is wearing. Come on, dont tell me you dont like to check out eye-candy and just fixate your eyes on your partner..bullshit girl!


MYTH 6 : We don't have sex anymore. Is he getting it from somewhere else?

No. He is having problems standing. Check or talk to him about it. I can't help here. Talk to the doctor..i've been trying to get my dick to stand for the longest time..only recently i found out..i dont have a dick.


MYTH 7 : I have seen receipts of him having dinners at fancy restaurants. If it's not with me..who is he going with?

Ask him. ASK HIM YOU FOOL - DON'T ASK YOUR MOM! Your mom is already worried about your dad coming back late from work drunk. Your mom is not experienced at this..but she is experienced at thinking the same way as you so her suspicion will be hi-tech and faarrrrrrrrrrrrrr better than yours!


MYTH 8 : He is surrounded by so many hot women...one day after office..do you think he would bang one of them.

Babe. Go get yourself a nice dress.  Get a manicure done. Get a massage done. Treat yourself - you're insecure like most of us are. You relationships are a mirror of how much you love yourself. The more insecure..the more fights.


MYTH 9 :  Why doesn't he call me during lunchtime when he clearly has a break.

SLAP YOURSELF ! Give him some time to breathe from his busy work..let him network with his mates...he is coming home to YOU right..and why don't you pick up the phone and call him instead.. EGO issues right. <-------------- Dear husband, leave her. 


MYTH 10 : I saw him kissing another girl on the cheek. First on one side..then the other.

This is the european or american way of greeting somebody. If he stopped halfway in the middle of the right and the left cheek - then when you meet him...you make sure you burn his butt cheeks.  


Ok people! You get the point but if the guy is really cheating on you..don't be so stupid! Keep your eyes and ears open..cos i am not sure if ALL men can be trusted..but all women can't be trusted either but that's for another blogpost. Have a great Wednesday and if you would like me to cover any topics or have any ideas you would like to share with me.. you can write to me on : thesharulc@gmail.com


Love Love,

Sharul 










Monday, 1 July 2013

I am not Pregnant.

Hey guys,

People are way too critical of women. We can't be fat. We can't be too skinny. We can't be pudgy. It's as if people have a problem with everything! So i think it is important to be comfortable in your own skin and dress your weight instead of waiting to dress up after you lose weight. I must tell you about the kind of scrutinizing comments i have heard from random people and relatives about other people. It's just NOT COOL. Simple things like when we travel to India to go meet our relatives, friends, random relatives (who your mom conveniently makes you meet after 15 years and expects you to remember that the uncle carried you and you pee-d in your pants - "sudden relatives") - the kind of comments you get to hear are just phenomenally displeasing.

Things Relatives/friends/people/ Weirdos Say :


IF YOU HAVE PUT ON WEIGHT

1. " Oh, you have become healthy.."
2. " Radha (maid), can you get sharul another roti - she has an appetite!"
3. " When I was your age, i was super skinny."
4. " Shall i get you an L size, we were planning to buy you a top as a gift before you leave."


IF YOU HAVE LOST WEIGHT
1. " Oh, you look weak..bring out the pure ghee.."
2. " How will you give birth in the future like this?"
3. " Stop eating all that chinese food - you're not going to wear that tight dress for your wedding.. saris' need curves"
4. " let's bring you under a cow/buffalo to break that skinny spell.."
5. " Hold on to your daughter, the wind is blowing too strong.."


IF YOU HAVE BAD SKIN
1. ........ why don't you see a doctor..
2. Are you touching your face all the time?
3.  Younger daughter so pretty... older daughter very smart. Middle daughter....
4. I can play connect the dots on your face!


Recently, I got congratulated for being pregnant. Just for the record, i am not. My mind ,however, is pregnant with thoughts of getting impregnated by the most handsomest guy ever.


Love Love,

Sharul

Shit Comedians do in hotel rooms when they are bored!

video



Hello people! Hope you'll are enjoying your monday! I am :)
Recently, Fuzz and myself were super bored in penang just before our show so we happened to shoot a video and i just found it completely amusing. Yes. Fakkah Fuzz was amusing the hell outta me.

Comics who are hilariously funny and single get to hook up with hot chicks ( Read: Fuzz) while the attached ones ( Read : Jinx and Me ) have to look like we're not interested at all. It is truly difficult to look not interested especially if the guy is hot. So the following is a sample of awkward conversations i have had with men after a show.

Sample 1 :

Hot guy : I would love to know how you're like in normal life.

Me : I am pretty normal in normal life.

FAIL FAIL FAIL!!!!!


Sample 2 :

Hot guy : Can I get you a drink?

Me : I don't drink.

Hot guy : How about a non-alcoholic drink?

Me : Oh look, my partner is here. Bye.

FAIL FAIL FAIL!!!!


Sample 3 :

Hot Guy : Omg. Your comedy has improved. So was your joke about getting legally married true?

Me : Yes.

Hot Guy : hmmm...when are you religiously getting married?


Me : Tomorrow.


FAIL FAIL FAIL.


Sample 4 :

Hot Guy puts hand around waist and kisses cheek to say HI.


Me : Oh look my HUSBAND is here. Talk later BRO.

FAIL FAIL FAIL.




Question : Where do all the hot single men disappear to when you are not married/getting married / attached?

It's as if there is a room filled with hot men who are only unleashed when single women find men. These 'perfect' looking men are released to test your relationship. UGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!




That's it for now.


Love love,

Sharul


Sunday, 30 June 2013

Shit Some shitty Pretend- Comedy Promoters Say and Other stuff.

Hello One and all!

First of all i apologize for not being able to update my blog with the weekly comedy gigs in Singapore..i'll be doing that through my facebook page! So to know more about where i'll be performing and what's happening in and around singapore's comedy scene , Like it! ---------> https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sharul-Channa/182385105207710?ref=hl

Comedy has been making me travel quite a bit this year which is always good as you get to meet , explore, understand and perform to the many kinds of audiences. I have performed in Sydney, Perth, KL, Thailand, Penang and a few more places have been lined up for the rest of the year. Different cities, different sensibilities. Kumar shows are going on too and this week i performed with him in three different venues..again in one country itself different kinds of audiences exist. What binds them together? Laughter.

I have recently started writing more material in Hindi. Yup. I am trying to perform both in English and Hindi - let's see how that turns out :)

OK. So This post is based on what rising stand-up comedians have to hear from shitty pretend promoters and you SHOULD avoid them!

Things shitty promoters say and my humble answer to them.



1. " Just come and perform for 10 mins - we will give you free food".

Answer : Dear asshole, i don't need free food and if i really needed free food i would have visited my neighbors house every chinese new year with a red packet with nothing in it - in hope that they say " Please have something!" and then i would take out all the plastic boxes i had brought along and wiped out their fantastic stingray. Why don't YOU come over and clean my entire house and i will give you free  food.. then you can officially be my maid.

2. " Can you emcee and then introduce yourself and DO AN ACT and then introduce the next act and then while you're at it introduce the next too?"

Answer : It's important to have a comedian emcee who just heats up the crowd so that the acts can go on. I am not going to emcee it and also do a 20 min set you cheapo!

3.  " I am providing you with an opportunity. I will pay for your airfare and hotel!"

Answer : Sure. Thank you for your opportunity. Can i have a business class ticket and also a room in a  5 star hotel with a good amount of money for meals. Upon arrival?


4. " We don't have a budget."

Answer : "This line has been terminated for the past 5 secs..Please don't call back ever."

5. " Can you produce 20 mins completely new material for the comedy show which is in a week's time."

Answer : "Is it possible to build a 20 storey building in 1 week?"


Dear Rising Stand-up comedians from all over the world,

Please avoid these people who try to exploit new talent for their own material gain. These people are not comedy promoters..they are just leeches who are not ethical in business. There are some fantastic trustworthy promoters around. If you are unclear make sure you ask other comedians who these fantastic promoters are as good people will always have a good word going around. I have been lucky enough to work with such ethical and fantastic promoters so when i come across a terrible one - i know.

Trustworthy and awesome Comedy promoters in Singapore are :

1. Umar Rana ( Comedy Masala)
2. Jonathan Atherton ( Comedyclubasia)
3. Heazry ( Comedyclubasia)
4. Quill Potter ( thecomedypimp)


Thank you.

Have a great week ahead!

Love Love,



Monday, 15 April 2013

This Week in Singapore's Comedy Scene!


COMEDY THIS WEEK

Hey guys! I have decided to update you guys on all the comedy happenings every week from now on so we can help grow the comedy scene together!

I will be performing on Wednesday at blujaz for talk cock comedy night and won't be at the Kumar Show at Home club on thursday this week as am traveling to KL coming thursday and Friday! Back to doing comedy on Saturday - doing a set at Additions, Still Bar ( Dempsey) for the Kumar show!

I'll see you on Wednesday and Saturday but don't forget to go down to the rooms below and share the info too! Paul ogata is in town - don't miss that one!

1. Tuesday - 16thApril2013  Comedy Masala , Home Club  (Open-mic Comedy)             Price : $10
    9.15pm onwards  - PAUL OGATA Preview set  


2. Wednesday - 17thApril2013  Talk Cock Comedy, Blu Jaz Cafe ( Open-mic Comedy)  Price : $10
    8.30pm onwards ( Comedyclubasia)

3. Wednesday - 17thApril2013  Paul Ogata 1 hour solo show at the Royal Room  8pm    Price : $28
                          tickets at www.gatecrash.com.sg


4.  Thursday -Fight Comic - 18th April 2013 Talk Cock Comedy, Blu Jaz Cafe ( Improv Stand-up)   Price :  $10 / 9.00pm onwards (TheComedypimp)


5. Thursday - The KUMAR Show - 18th April 2013 ,Home Club                                                       Price : $16

6.  Saturday - The KUMAR Show - 20th April 2013, Additions ( Still Bar, Dempsey)                      Price :  $25


Love and Laughter,

Sharul Channa


Monday, 11 March 2013

Only in Bollywood Movies!


Hello One and All.

Welcome to my rant.

I have been watching lots of bollywood movies recently. I have to say that we are full of bull! No really, we are. Although we have some real good bollywood films - we have many unrealistic trashy ones too. So if you're a die-hard bollywood fan..i suggest you stop reading here.

STOP.



OK. You Chose to read.


So - i have been watching many bollywood films recently in between of work. Yes - i work!
And i must say that i have found myself gagging with laughter and sometimes ending up in a pool of my own piss. So below is one film i watched and my personal take on it!



 Raja Hindustani

A story about a rich girl falling in love with a taxi driver in India. They rebel and end up getting married. This movie is the only reason women have started giving second looks to their drivers.

Reality Check !


Driver in this movie :


Driver in Reality :



You know what i mean? No! DO YOU NOW KNOW WHAT I MEAN!?

This is what i call a clear case of Reality ka Baap-Bhai*!  ( *Think of it as an insult to the male race)

If my driver was Aamir Khan! I wont marry him - i will tell him to direct a film for me. On me. With me. For me. *drools*



Do you now know what i mean?!


Lots of comedy shows happening this week!
In the next post!

love love,

Sharul Channa






Wednesday, 13 February 2013

A Very Happy Valentine's Day!


Hey people.

A very Happy valentine's day. I just want to share with you how i prepared for my valentine's day.

                         I GOT MY UPPER LIP THREAD!
No! It's not the first time i have done it but i realized how important it is for women to thread their upper lips and eyebrows on time so that we don't look like the chinese uncle under our block who will occasionally strike up a conversation with you about how its getting hotter in Singapore while they stroke their thin but evident mustache. (No..not a mustache. Indian men have mustache.)


THIS IS A FREAKING MUSTACHE.



But in my case and I am sure for millions of Women out there - if u don't get the hair off..you can very well take it as your life is over if a handsome man walks past and he knows you! When i don't have my upper lip hair off and i know a hot man  is coming from the distance and he knows me - I hide. I run. I take cover. The last thing you need is talking to a hot guy under bright white light and you can see his glance slip from your eyes to your mouth. He has noticed it. He has noticed that you have hair on your upper lip and the equation my friends is very freaking simple.

Woman with hair on upper lip = Not attractive = Will never date her = Not excited to meet her the next time

And if a hot guy i know does bump into me and catches me off guard before i run to take cover..i end up covering my mouth the entire conversation. THE ENTIRE CONVO!


So now the mustache is off! - till it grows back within the next 10 days.

Happy Valentine's day.

love,

Sharul


Wednesday, 6 February 2013

A trend I notice in the Asian Stand-up Comedy Circle..



Performing in KL for One Mic Stand

Dear one and all,

Hope all of you are doing well !

Well - I just want to talk about a trend I have noticed in the Asian stand-up comedy circle. To be completely honest - I am guilty too! Most asian stand-up comedians are cracking race based jokes. Nothing wrong with that but recently when i travelled to KL for the Comedy Club Kl show - i realized how much I needed to steer away from the race based jokes. Its not that those jokes are easy to come up with..it takes as much effort,writing and numerous trials to perfect but everybody is doing them. What is the difference between me and the comic after me? What is my brand of humor? How can i be different? These are questions i asked myself when i came back from KL. If i want to travel the world with my comedy - then i have to make my material understandable and relatable to the entire world. I should be able to perform these jokes infront of a full british audience and if somebody transported me to africa - i should make the masses there laugh. I also dont want to disregard the fact that i should be able to entertain Singapore as much as i want to entertain the world. So this is my solution for this : Having one set for Singapore and one for the rest of the world and then another one for the Corporate world. I think having 3 sets of joke lists to entertain the different kind of audiences is needed. 

These are just my thoughts and i dont hope to offend anybody with them. If you already have your different set lists for the different kinds of audiences - Congratulations! 


Have a great Wednesday. I am off to Stand-up for Singapore ( Blu Jaz Cafe, Bali Lane) proudly brought to you by Comedyclubasia! Need to try a couple of new jokes. Will tell how it went ;)


Warmest Regards,


Sharul Channa

Monday, 4 February 2013

"We are like this only" , KUMAR, Upcoming shows


Hello One and all,

Hope you'll have been doing great! I have been busy with the rehearsals of a play - yes yes, i am acting.
For those who don't know, i have 3 years of formal training in acting for theatre,film and television from Lasalle-SIA, College of the Arts. The play is called " We are like this only" - forum theatre style.
This play shines a light on the problems new indians and local singaporean indians are facing in terms of integrating with each other. It's a hot hot issue dealt with sensitivity for sure. So come on down! You can purchase tickets from www.humtheatre.com . The show is on  - 26thFeb2013 to 3rd March 2013 at the Goodman Arts Centre, Blackbox .

It's been so nostalgic cos the rehearsals and the play are held at the old Lasalle-sia, college of the arts at Goodman Road. Life comes around full circle in many ways.

In terms of Stand-up comedy - I have been performing with Singapore's most famous and entertaining stand-up comedian - KUMAR. That's right. She gives me 10 mins of stage time during 2 of her shows. Isn't that fantastic?! I mean i remember watching this genius perform at Hard Rock Cafe as a teenager and thought to myself.. Whoa. How liberating and hilariously funny. I never thought i would get to share the stage with this legend. Here is a picture i recently took with her :


Sharul Channa and Kumar


When people find out I perform with Kumar - they ask me weird questions but they are completely justified i guess cos people think an artist's stage persona is how they are like in personal life. " Isn't it scary to talk to Kumar? Don't you feel scared? " - WHAT? Once and for all let me answer this question. Kumar is one of the nicest human beings i have met. If she seems dismissive - it's just an artist's personal space and she is a very shy person. But she is amazing. She has her one man show coming up for this year at the Esplande which is called : What makes a man man.  Can't wait to watch it!






THIS WEEK I PERFORM AT :
1. Wednesday - 6th Feb2013 - Stand-up for Singapore at the blu jaz cafe, Bali Lane : 8.30pm onwards
Proudly brought to you by : Comedyclubasia, Singapore


2. Saturday - 9thFeb2013 - Kumar's Show at The Still Bar, Dempsey Road : 10.30pm onwards




Stay tuned for more posts coming up! I promise to be regular! :)





Warmest Regards,

Sharul Channa 








Sunday, 6 January 2013

Finding your Voice in Stand-up

Hey guys!

Hope you'll are well! First of all, a very very Happy New Year! 


Now I just wanted to talk a little bit about the concept of 'voice' in stand-up comedy. I have heard this many times from comedians around the world who say ...".. and then i found my voice in comedy"... What are they referring to when they talk about this voice? I always recoiled in confusion and tried to act cool as if i knew what they were talking about! - Clearly, i didn't! I know other growing stand-up comedians wonder to themselves about finding the  'voice' in comedy.... so i put my foot down and decided to ask some of my favorite stand-up comedians in Asia what exactly the 'voice in comedy' means to them! Let's see!



Vivek Mahbubani ( Hong Kong )
I think when someone speakes of "finding your comedy voice", it means finding the style of person you want to be on stage. For example, when I'm on stage, my voice is of someone who likes silly things, who is cheeky and playfully agressive. This relates to the style of comedy I personally enjoy, which has slowly transformed into the style of comedy I like to perform.
In my experience, people who haven't found their comedy voice are usually those who aren't sure what they themselves find funny (it takes quite a lot of soul searching, studying and of course laughing), thus when they're on stage, all they're trying to do is be funny to everyone, but often neglecting to be funny for themselves as well.




Gb Labrador   ( Philippines )
For me when a comic says "I have not found my comedy voice" - it only means the comic is still trying to figure out the real reason why-- he/she goes up on stage and tell jokes.
To find one's comedy voice is to find a greater reason in holding the mic. To deliver jokes that are more personal-- to finally have the courage to open up to the audience.



Dr. Jason Leong Say Keong ( Malaysia )

"I think they are referring to the fact that they are not 100percent where they are in comedy or that there is still a disconnect between them and the audience. For me, it means that the bloody microphone is not working or I got a sore throat. "



So, have you found your 'voice' in stand-up comedy? :)



Warmest Regards,

Sharul Channa